Friday, 4 May 2012

Oh (Lord) Sugar!...

"No income tax, no V.A.T.
No money back, no guarantee..."

Please gimme a break! I saw the last edition of “The Apprentice” loosely based on (Lord) Sugar’s catchphrase “smelling what’s selling” but in the end I could only smell a rat.

I know that all these ego exercises are for Television purposes only but it is amazing, or disingenuous, or ignorant or all of this, the way the entire exercise got put together… to start with the numbers as numbers don’t lie except when showed on “The Apprentice”.

The losing team ended with cash in hand of £422.61 plus unsold stock of £415.60. The winning team ended with £681.30 plus unsold stock of £273.90.

Now... (Lord) Sugar says that the assets are cash plus stock. However something has been forgotten here… unsold stock needs selling which implies more trips, more work, more labour, more expenses.

Frankly, for that day, we had 10 people and 2 vans and they cashed in £1103.91. If you take from this figure the original capital, plus travel, plus site rental, plus labour time (at least 140 man hours) each one of the apprentices got paid a staggering £2.88!!! per hour tops. This is way below the minimum wage and I am not counting income tax and VAT. “Oh Chateu nerf the pap” as another successful, and this time loved, business man would have said.

Of course there is stock left but you have to start all over again tomorrow and there is no way your rate is going to improve. You have to count on the fact that having Television cameras on site helps to improve sales, so tomorrow on your own can only be grimmer.

So, either (Lord) Sugar is deluded by the television limelight, or he became a caricature of what I presume he tries to convey…the seriousness of British business.

If what I saw yesterday is how British business should be described as (as stated by the successful entrepreneur), it is poor, very poor, people working below minimum wage, ignoring the value of labour, flogging goods with risible mark ups, no expenses, no social commitment, presenting figures at the close of business that are a total misrepresentation of how the business is actually performing… Gosh that’s it!! That’s British business in a nutshell!

This isn’t really “luvly jubbly”. Rodney Trotter on his return to the flat in Peckham using (Lord) Sugar's "spiel" would certainly got a “You plonker!!!” comment from Del Boy. I doubt (Lord) Sugar would have ever been hired by Trotters Independent Trading Co. although he is more and more making a tit of himself.

Personally I know exactly to whom I would give my money too any day, either to invest or to lose in a dream. Because the other is just a nightmare.

God Bless Hooky Street.

No comments:

Post a Comment


Abbey Act of Union Al Murray Al Qaeda al-Hilli Aldi algorithm Alistair Darling amateurs Amazon Andy Burnham Angela Merkel Apple Apprentice USA Arabic Aramaic avarice bad accounting bank Bank of America Bank of England bankers banks Barack Obama Barclays Bank Barrabas battered wife BBC beef Big issue Bigfoot Black-Scholes blag Blake Edwards Boeing 777 boobs Boris Johnson brexit Britain Britain First British BS BSOD cancer carbon footprint Carmen Reinhart Catholics Cathy Rentzenbrink CCTV Cessna Chagos Charleston Chevaline Chilean Peso China Chris Huhne Citibank CLP Clydesdale Comigel compensation compound Conservatives corporation Corsa Cosa Nostra counterfeit courts Coutts cowboys creationism credit crunch crime Cristovam Buarque Crown Prosecution Service cupertino cycling data data storage David Cameron death debt Decca Aitkenhead deception Deep Impact Del Boy deportation derivative Diego Garcia disentropy distraction diversion dollar Donald Trump doomsday door Dubai Duchess of Cambridge Duke of Cambridge Durham Book Festival Economist Ed Milliband edollars education embezzlement encryption energy entropy ERII errors Esbjörn Svensson Trio EST eternity ethnicity EU EU citizens EU referendum Europe eurozone event horizon evolutionism Excel FA facebook fake Falklands Fannie Mae fashion Faslane FBI Federal Reserve Findus Flight MH370 FM For The Many foreign exchange forest Frances Andrade Freddie Mac FSA Fürstenberg G20 GDP Gengis Khan George Bush ghost money God google Google Drive GOP Gordon Brown greed Grenfell Guantanamo Bay gun gun control guns ham Hatton Garden Haute-Savoie Henry VIII hijacking Hillary Clinton Hillsborough hoax Hollande Holyrood horse HSBC Hulk Hogan human Ian Watson Gladwish Iceland iCloud IMF incompetence indians inflation Institutional Corruption interest Internet iPad iPhone islands Jacintha Saldanha jazz Jeremy Corbyn Jeremy Paxman Jo Cox John Prescott journalists Julie Andrews Katie Middleton Kenneth Rogoff King Edward VII Labour Labour Leadership Lac Mégantic Lamborghini Larry Page lawyers Light Brigade loans London Lord Sugar Los Angeles losers loss lottery Louise Mensch love Mafia Maillaud Malaysia Malvinas Margaret Thatcher Martin Rutland mass shooting McDonalds Metropolitan Police Michael Brewer Michael Gove Microsoft misconception misrepresentation moby dick money Monthy Python Morgan Freeman murder music MWh nail house National Insurance Nationwide Natwest Nelson Mandela nerdocracy New York News Corporation News of the World newspaper Nick Leeson Nicola Sturgeon Nigel Farage NRA nuclear plant odds oil Olympic Oregon Osama Bin Laden Oxford Palestinians paperless Paris passport Peckham Pedro Beça Múrias penny photovoltaic pollution Pope Francis prank President Princess privacy probability processed food Québec Queen Elizabeth II Queen of England race racism. discrimination rain forest RBS referendum Religion remain Republicans rescission respect Robert Mugabe Romania Ronald Reagan Royal Bank of Scotland Royal Family Rupert Murdoch S.O.B. Sadiq Khan saint-exupery saints Salmond San Bernardino Scotland Silly Money sinners Sky Skydrive Slominski smoke SNP solar panels Sonderkommandos Sorbonne sorry soylent green speculation St. George stabbing Stephen Lawrence storage sudden riches sum0 Sun Power surrender suspicion Syed Rizwan Farook terror Terry Bollea Tesco thalidomide The Apprentice The Cloud The Sun Theresa May Tim Cook timber Tom Watson toxic train runaway train trees Trotter troubles trust truth twitter Typhoon UK UKIP Umpqua Unesco United Nations US elections USA USA President USD vault war Wayne Lee Busst weapon westminster White House Winston Churchill World Yale Yvette Cooper Zimbabwe ZWD

She's fit?

My apologies for this Julie... one day I may tell you the story.